In Agony! Volume 3 - (Summer 2010 issue)

VOL. 3 - SUMMER 2010

Life is about choices. Don’t make bad ones and you won’t have to deal with the consequences! Of course that's easier said than done. So this issue my message to you is to think! Think more about the choices you’re making, the ones you may have to make in the future and the effects they will have on your life. If you have an idea of what’s coming you can make the choice to take it head on or even avoid it completely. This is easy for some people. For others, that’s where I come in. Send me your letters and I’ll help get you back on the right path with my special brand of common sense advice.

Now remember the ‘In Agony!’ twist! Sometimes the advice is already out there you just need to know where to look. So with your response I will also be giving HOMEWORK. This could include anything from a specific song or film, to a book or TV show episode for you to research, which will hopefully shed some light on your issue.

Heartbreaker wrote:

I ended a bad relationship a while back, so I wasn’t really looking for anything serious but the guy I’ve been seeing casually, told me he loves me. My friends say, “run like the wind” but I need an opinion from someone I don’t know. 

A: You need to have a conversation and clarify what sort of relationship you both want. It’s not fair to lead him on if you don’t feel the same way. Have you actually considered the other side of it though? Maybe you have more feelings for him than you realise? Is it that you don’t want a relationship or that you don’t want to risk another break up?

HOMEWORK: (Listen) Tina Turner – “What’s love got to do with it?”

Peter Parker wrote:

Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time?

A: No. I’m sure you can have strong feelings or an infatuation for more than one person, but by definition you probably weren’t ‘in love’ with the first person.

HOMEWORK: (Watch) …anything really with a similar situation. Love triangles don’t get a happy ever after (unless it’s one of those weird channel 4 documentaries). It always ends in tears and I’m afraid the person who feels that way about two different people is usually considered ‘the bad guy’.

Benji89 wrote:

I’m a vocal tech student. I have mad skills but I get a bit nervous when I perform and my voice has been cracking. Any advice?

 A: Someone else might tell you to use the “picture the audience in their underwear” technique but I think it can be a distraction if you’re trying to focus on performing. My advice is to create a stage persona. Psychology studies prove that people take on the traits of their costumes during fancy dress, Halloween etc. Come up with an onstage personality, attitude and style of dress that you would never usually use and completely ‘become’ that person when on stage.

HOMEWORK: (Listen) Eminem – “Lose yourself”

Willow wrote:

A friend of mine that I fancy has this girlfriend. Everyone I know hates her. She’s a real psycho and he gets really down about it. I think he’s been sending me signals for a while but should I just tell him how I feel?

A: Blurting it out without being sure how he feels could be embarrassing for both of you and a risk of your friendship. Not to mention it sounds like his girlfriend would make things difficult. That doesn’t mean you can’t spend some time together and turn on the charm. He should get the message without you actually saying anything. Just don’t complicate things, wait until (if) he breaks up with the girlfriend.

HOMEWORK: (Watch) Legally blonde. Give it the old 'bend and snap!'

S.Darko wrote:

A group of friends totally stabbed me in the back over something stupid. I chose to take the high road and haven’t done anything about it or even seen them since. Now I really need to work out some aggression. Want to help me seek vengeance?

A: No thanks but I do get where you’re coming from. Betrayal is one of the worst things to go through and can be very hard to get over. Try pouring that anger into something constructive. If you’re creative then try writing a story or songs, maybe painting. If you have the money invest in a punching bag or a gym membership and take out your rage on the treadmill. You’ll feel better, get a nice supply of endorphins and get fit at the same time!

HOMEWORK: (Watch) Kill Bill. Entertaining, as it might be to watch, going on a 'roaring rampage of revenge' is probably a bad idea in your case. Uma Thurmans character had nothing to lose… and is fictional.

I'll give anything a go so send your letters, embarrassing illnesses, secret shames and all the rest, to tezofalltrades@gmail.com with ‘HELP’ in the subject box and leave an alias for how you want to be addressed.