Well this isn't what I thought my first "Life etc..." post would be about but the situation left me contemplating that mysterious species we call humanity, so I just had to write about it.
So on my way home this evening I arrive at the bus stop and notice the horrendous traffic opposite. A man in the car directly across the road seems to recognise me and yells, a name, not mine, which I came to realise later. Stupidly I responded, trying to place how I knew the guy or either of his friends in the front seats.
I ask how we know each other, still a bit dubious, then he says that I helped him out the other day. I assumed he had visited where I work (in the HE sector) for some advice etc and naturally I had expertly solved his problem and sent him on his way. Then he shouts "you're so beautiful"...
My first thought after a burst of uncontrollable laughter is, well durr tell me something I don't know, then I remember that I'm surrounded by people at the bus stop and the situation becomes a little embarrassing. Made even worse when his friends concur and the first guy begins confessing his undying love for me! Or rather for Harry, which he mistook my name for from my ID card (note to self, take off after work).
When I think my embarrassment has reached its peak, the hilarity continues as they blast the final chorus of Roxette's classic song - "It Must Have Been Love" out the car speakers!!! After hearing the pre-prepared song I finally cotton on to the fact that I don't know these people (slow I know but it had been a long day) and at this point the comments have become lude, to say the least! So yes it's just some randoms having a laugh and it's actually pretty funny, although I would have enjoyed it a lot more as a spectator. Instead I can almost feel the people either side of me pointing and laughing.
The traffic finally seems to be moving further down the road so I smile, give them the middle finger and tell them to jog on. They then get out of the car all angry as if it was me trying to start something! Suddenly I'm not seeing the funny side anymore and I've had about enough; I stick on my patented angry face and slowly (and visibly) reach into my back pack as they make their way towards me.
One of them takes notice of this and says to the others "Yo what's he reachin' for bruv'?" They stop in their tracks and I call over, "I'll give you a hint, IT'S NOT A TOASTER!" Now my bus mates really helped here as they all started shuffling away from me as well lol oh dear... Anyway the idiots got back in their car and drove off with a symphony of car horns sounding behind them since they had been holding everyone up. It now dawns on me that the bus stop people are still hesitant so I pull my hand from my bag revealing the Nestle Milkybar (yum) I had purchased earlier that day and flashed them a smile.
So what the hell was all that about!?
I'm going to rely on your assumption that these guys were pretending to be gay. I can actually offer a few explanations for their behavior if they were legitimately gay (the gist of which boils down to "being gay doesn't magically exclude us from the possibility of being and asshole too"), but I'll focus on the scenario you suspect to be more likely.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing from everything you've said that these young men are part of the "machismo" culture and that they have this tendency to worship and some hyper-masculine ideal of manliness (which is code for "strong, agressive, superior, etc"). To that culture/mentality, making fun of guys who are gay or who they perceive to be gay (and I'm guessing you fell into the latter category) is a way "proving" one's own manliness. By caling you beautiful (rather than handsome or just good looking), they were comparing you to a woman, thereby suggesting you're not a "real man."
I'm also willing to bet that their lewd commentary was more about using you for their pleasure rather than sharing a sexual experience, let alone thinking about your pleasure. Again, this is there way of degrading you, showing that they are the "real men," and that anything you do is just...well, being a dirty, woman-like queer.
From this, I can trust you see why some pro-LGBT feminists have suggested that homophobia (at least that directed towards men) is actually repackaged misogyny.
As for their reaction, that's simple to understand. You fought back and stood up for yourself. You didn't accept your place as the "woman-like queer" they were deriding and challenged the "real men." That's a blow to their hyper-masculine ego, and they felt the need to recover from that by responding with violence.
Lol I expect you're right for the most part and you've put it into words I couldn't. The twist here is that I resemble a heavy metal band roadie at the moment so there was probably more mocking involved than any actual prejudice. What you've said about repackaged misogyny is a realy interesting theory in its own right though, I've never condidered that before. Thanks for your comment :)
ReplyDelete